Dean ‘The Dean’ Slater is a living legend. A philosophy major while at SCSU, and author of O.R.I.F.I.C.E. and The Magnum Dopus, Dean’s life mission is to… well, help others find their life mission. While he never officially graduated, he took it upon himself to learn from some of the greatest minds of our time, in Tubingen, Paris, & Tibet. He is the wise sensei to the under-achievers, but humbled by the one missing aspect of his life; love.


There’s a reason Tyler didn’t get into his dream school; he’s no Einstein. While he shows flashes of brilliance, they always seem to be snuffed out by a snafu of incompetence. Genetically speaking, we’d expect an engineering slam dunk, but this particular Harris didn’t turn out to be CalTech material. Over the summer, when experimenting with combustible gas collection, a lapse in judgment led him to star in one of the most embarrassing viral videos of all time. Since then, he has been utterly defined by his flatulent faux-pas. Tyler fights an uphill battle to create a new identity in College. The new college campus is no longer a clean slate,  but rather a hyperconnected digital catalogue of high school mistakes.


When Yuji’s not sleepwalking, he’s shattering Asian stereotypes. He is terrible with technology, gets poor grades, and is hung like a horse. He speaks in a dialect all his own. He is calm in the face of crisis, and always emitting positive, if odd, vibes. The world can’t change Yuji; but Yuji might be able to change the world (but probz not!)


Hanna is confident, intelligent, and mature for her age. The leader of our three girls, she has earned every break for herself through legitimate hard work and a driven attitude. Her poise sets her apart from her peer.  She is studious- double majoring in Communications and Psychology, and can speak with a touch of jaded cynicism. Hanna inherently understands the values that Dean teaches to the boys; appreciating personal connections, exercising moderation, and leading a life that transcends technology. She identifies with Tyler on the viral-video front, having suffered from her own online-infamy years prior. In short, Hanna is a kind and selfless young woman who holds herself to a high standard, and seeks to raise, not shun those beneath her.


Cory Burton thinks he is finally getting a fresh start and some breathing room by going to a different school than his long-time girlfriend, Veronica. Veronica, of course, is a psychotic, sex crazed pseudo-feminist who craves total control in the relationship… A series of events over the first couple weeks of school culminate in Cory finally growing enough testicular fortitude to break it off. He succeeds, ultimately by recognizing and coming to terms with the fact that their entire relationship was fabricated through Facebook. This draws Cory closer to Tyler, as they both reject their identities as defined by social media.


Layne is perky, lovable, and sometimes lost. She exists in her own world, where there are probably lots of bright flowers and unicorns. Her statements are often great comedic summaries of a given moment or scene, though she rarely intends them to be. Excitement and trouble seem to find Layne. She’s easily tempted and has a tendency to be the girl at the party who is “sending it”.


Too smart and too beautiful for her job at the blackout diner, Sam is there because she loves her family too much to leave. As Dean guesses, she went on her corporate walkabout on Madison Ave while he was away, but ultimately felt like she was selling her soul, not ads. She values family, friends, and community, and is the much-needed motherly figure to the college kids piling into her diner on a nightly basis. She’s just about ready to be a real mother, too, but is waiting for a guy who is mature enough, after Dean left her hanging.


Allie is the middle-ground somewhere between the intelligent maturity of Hanna, and the ditzy-absurdity of Layne. Allie is content being the social-butterfly that is often on her phone, helping to plot the next-thing for the three girls.


Chancellor Norden is your classic collegiate leader. He probably runs two or three marathons a year, and takes pride in his extensive collection of rare books that he keeps in his mahogany oval-office. His favorite pastimes include kicking people off-campus (for violations), staring out his windows that overlook the quad, and moving his campus-guards around like pieces on a chessboard. Chancellor Norden is respected, but always willing to learn, and a kind and worthy leader.


Chip is the fastidiously groomed and hyper-positive R.A., who also happens to be Dean’s younger brother. With an array of extracurricular activities and straight-A’s to boot, Chip has developed a cocaine habit to keep it all up.  Chip hits notes that range from obnoxious and over-attentive, to deprived and tortured.


Veronica is the ultra-possessive and downright insane girlfriend slash dominatrix of Cory Burton. She has the body and the wits to break necks, but could ‘bitch her way out of a black hole’, as one of the boys notes. Veronica demands Cory’s phone presence whenever she deems it necessary, and is a villain to bros everywhere.


Tyler’s father, Mr. Harris, comes from a long line of engineers, and expects the world around him to abide by strict and accurate parameters. The fact that his son is going to a so-called ‘safety-school’ is devastating. Mr. Harris speaks in a calculated, and confident manner, and isn’t swayed by those around him.